Pastor's Wife Appreciation Month

She married a a man who made her heart skip a beat who was a fifth grade public school teacher.

Their life was simple until… that teacher sensed a call from God to go into full-time vocational ministry and everything changed.

This is part of Laura’s story. It wasn’t what she had originally signed up for… but she is exactly who God has blessed me with and it was the journey that He has put us on.

Little did we know, ministry life can be quite hard on families and marriages. Honestly, we were quite naive! We dreamed of immediate church growth, worship services that were always awe inspiring, budgets that were always met, and members and attenders that ooo'ed and ahhh'ed at everything we did. The constant burden of loving and leading a church is taxing, and the pressure I feel as I shepherd the church inevitably impacts Laura.

On top of that, Laura feels and hears the spoken and unspoken expectations for a “pastor’s wife”:

  • attend as many church functions as humanly possible (after all, her attendance is her/our endorsement, right?)
  • have a perfect marriage and perfect children (after all, we live in a glass house, where everyone is watching)
  • keep an immaculate home (after all, cleanliness is next to godliness, right)
  • actually lead or be involved in tons of ministries (after all, involvement shows that she supports the church and her husband, right?)

Intimidating and overwhelming, huh? So, what really should be expected of the pastor’s wife? One answer that I have heard is very simply stated: The pastor’s wife should be a pastor’s wife.


First and foremost, Laura's identity is as a daughter of God. She is approved and beloved by Him. As a daughter of God, He only expects Laura to be Laura and to use the specific gifts He's given to her. She is serving God, not people, although she will serve people as an outflow of serving God. It's proper and right for her to set limits because she is a limited person.

As the one who makes her heart skip a beat, words can't adequately express how grateful to God I am for how He has blessed me with Laura. God has wired her in such a way that she is a passionate, servant-hearted woman who is strong leader with a delicate heart. Without her continuous love, support, and encouragment, I would not be able to be the man I am or be able to do the things that I am able to do. 

She will be a faithful and loving wife who happens to be married to me (a pastor), the amazing mother of our two awesome kids, and a faithful member of Missio Dei Church. Through her service as a faither follower of Christ, and as an amazing wife and mother, we together can "trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through" (Francis Chan).

The best way she can serve you is by encouraging her to be who God has made her to be, and by letting her support me. So, can I ask for your help? This month is Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Month. Can I encourage you to encourage her? Be creative! Go nuts with how you do it (just dont ask for too much of her time)! Bless her with a simple and yet encouraging text, email or Facebook post, a cup of coffee (Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks), prayer, a date night with her hubby, etc.