Confession: I Struggle to Listen

The Lord has been teaching me about my listening skills (or lack thereof) this week. The Lord has convicted me that I am not a great listener. I try to listen to my wife during dinner but often get distracted. I will notice that the blanket is not folded correctly and put away, or I wonder what that email is that just made my phone 'ding', or I really just want to watch T.V. Don't get me wrong, this is not every night - but I find that I often struggle to (actively) listen to people. 

I also see this in how I engage with the people I work with day in and day out. During meetings, I will sometimes listen to them to find something wrong in what they are saying, or I am partially listening to them because what I was originally working on before they walked into my office is more important than what my co-workers have to say.  

In my reading of James 1:19-25 this week, I was struck again by the "let every person be quick to hear...". This part of the verse usually hits me hard when I read it, but this week was different. In my research and devotions, I came across a great commentary from R. Kent Hughes titled Peaching the Word: James-Faith That Works. 

In his commentary he addressed this issue of being quick to hear. He talked about how during that time in which James was writing, the primary way to receive God's word was to listen to the orator. One had to listen carefully so as to hear things correctly and in context. He then went on to talk about how in our culture we struggle to listen in large part because of our media. One example he gave was a T.V. episode of the show Cops. He said if you ever stop and pay attention to how the show is shot, no camera angle last longer than ten to fifteen seconds. The ever changing camera angles keep us engaged. Try this with your favorite T.V. show you watch - you will notice a similar experience. 

Hughes goes on to say this, "A culture so dependent on visual changes to keep its attention has difficulty concentrating on anything, especially the unadorned Word. Perhaps this is why Adlai Stevenson, when he addressed the students at Princeton, said, “I understand I am here to speak and you are here to listen. Let’s hope we both finish at the same time.” [1]. I love that quote from Stevenson because I think of myself on a  Sunday morning. Do I stop listening when the pastor is done speaking/teaching/expositing or do I stop when I don't like what the pastor just said, or the sermon isn't interesting to me, or I would rather be somewhere else? If you are anything like me, and unfortunately you are because you and I share in the same sin nature, you struggle with listening as well. 

Hughes later goes on to give us five ways we can work on our listening skills, in particular to the exposition of Scripture - corporately and individually. He says,

"Lastly, because of this problem preaching becomes a daunting proposition. If our attention can be held for a limited amount of time only by the peacock’s unfolding colors and automobiles exploding and commercials that depend on sixty images in twenty seconds, how can we listen to a modest exposition of God’s Word?

Obviously, something must be done if we are to maintain and enhance our ability to hear God’s Word. Briefly there are at least five things which will help make us 'quick to listen.'

1. We must work at truly listening to others. Listening requires an intense interest in the other person. As Simon Kistemaker says: 'Listening is loving the neighbor as oneself; his concerns and problems are sufficiently important to be heard.' This requires eye contact and sensitivity to the other’s gestures and moods and silences.

2. We must limit our exposure to the visual media. If we do not control our time, the media will! And if they do, they will impair our ability to hear.

3. We must read God’s Word, and that involves more than advancing a bookmark. It means 'listening' as we read.

4.We must slow down and take time to listen, perhaps praying Samuel’s eager words, 'Speak, for your servant is listening' (1 Samuel 3:10).

5. We must prepare for worship and the hearing of God’s Word. For many, the time before Sunday church is the most stress-filled time of the week. I may be wrong, but I suspect there are more fights in Christian households on Sunday mornings than any other time. We must prepare not to have this happen, beginning the night before. Ever so practical, Pastor James says we must 'be quick to listen.' This is a continuous command (present act imperative)—that is, we are to keep at it. It is the first duty of those who would profit by the Word." [2]

So what do you and I do with this? We must come to understand that the extent that we are able to listen to our neighbor is the extent that we are able to love our neighbor. If we were to be better listeners, I wonder what that would do to our relationships, friendships, work places, and churches. I believe that this would make us better Kingdom servants as we seek to love our neighbor as ourself. Just as we desire to have people truly listen to what we have to say, we need to do the same. Maybe this will change how you sit through a sermon on a Sunday morning, or how you have conversations in your missional community throughout the week, or how you commune with the Lord. 

-------------

[1] Hughes, R. K. (1991). James: Faith that works. Preaching the Word (64). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

[2] Hughes, R. K. (1991). James: Faith that works. Preaching the Word (64–65). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.