Love is a decision
by Christine Moler
When posed with the question, “How is the gospel evident in your life?” I only had to take a few minutes before I was able to start listing the changes I have noticed. The biggest area that the gospel has been most evident is that of the relationships in my life and the manner in which I handle them. Although we all joke about it “being about me, ourselves,” I really do believe I suffered from that infliction of “self.” It’s not hard given the turns my life has taken. After almost 15 years of marriage, I found myself alone; raising two boys—then ages 11 and 8. I did not have an education and any means of supporting myself. But, God is an amazing God and He has provided me with the means to accomplish many goals that have benefited my family and myself.
Despite these blessings, I was still struggling with what it meant to be a Christian and live a Christian life; I was often comfortable accepting people’s pity and would just as often turn that pity inward. But slowly, I really started to hear God’s word. It started a little over a year ago when we first started worshipping as a church. Paul talked about love being a decision and about making daily choices about how we love. He challenged us to look at the relationships in our lives. I was so struck by his sermon that on the way home from church that day I called Heather—my ex-husband’s wife. I knew that if I was really going to be obedient to what God was saying, that I couldn’t pick and choose the relationships I wanted to be better at. My conversation that day was one I never imagined having. I thanked her for who she was in my son’s lives. I also told her that I understood that it wasn’t always easy to be in her shoes and some other things. That was a huge step for me and I didn’t do it that day for anyone, as a matter of fact, I haven’t told anyone really about that conversation.
The sermons have been continuously pushing me towards changing how I handle relationships in all areas of my life: work, family, dating, and day-to-day encounters. I have been given so many opportunities to minister to my students. I not only have my students coming to my room just to talk, but I have other students as well. They have learned through the grapevine that Ms. Moler’s room is always open during lunchtime. I feel that God placed me at the school for that reason. I no longer am driven by dollars, but am really looking at how God wants to use me—for now I believe He is calling me to be right where I am, in an environment where kids are in need of someone to respect them and minister to them in a godly way.
I really could go on about how the gospel is transforming my life. I am loving my mother in a better, healthier way. Instead of concentrating on what my mother doesn’t do for me, I instead am seeing how I can minister to her. My sister-in-law is dealing with her mother who has bowel cancer and after a sermon (those darn sermons!) I pulled over and read from the Bible to her over the phone. I would never have done that a year and a half ago. We then had several conversations about that passage and how I felt it pertained to her and her mother. It has affected how I think about my material possessions and about what I “don’t have.” I am more determined than ever to adjust my lifestyle to reflect having God first.
I am excited about being changed and I am trying to really be obedient. Now that isn’t to say I don’t have my days because I most certainly do. The difference is I am instantly convicted and I find myself taking a big step back and often apologizing—and then moving forward. I love that God loves me in my imperfections and that He is a God of second chances. I love what He is doing in our church, through our leaders and our congregation. I truly see His blessings in all things, good and bad.
